


In a Cold World

by pandorabox82



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-13
Updated: 2013-05-14
Packaged: 2017-12-11 18:33:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/801856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorabox82/pseuds/pandorabox82
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eventually, everyone seeks solace from the Oracle of All Knowing, even a hard heart like Erin Strauss. But what happens when the solace sought turns into something else, something unexpected?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Flourishing

**Author's Note:**

> Set after the events of '100'

Where had I gone wrong, to not have this fierce loyalty? I'd almost broken down when Ms. Garcia had begun to cry. That woman wore her heart on her sleeve, but I'd learned early in my career not to show how much emotions moved me. One couldn't get to my position by being caring.

After the inquiry was over, I walked through the BAU bullpen. There were only a handful of agents milling around, at this late hour, and most of them avoided my gaze. I noticed Ms. Garcia's light was still on and stopped in front of her door, a strange hesitancy filling my body.

I raised my hand to knock on the door when it opened, and we stood face to face. Her eyes were still red-rimmed from crying. "Chief Strauss, what can I do for you?" she asked. I couldn't answer her, I didn't have an answer for her. She tilted her head, assessing me. "Did Rossi send you to me?"

I nodded, not knowing what else to do at this point, and she sighed resignedly, pulling me into her office. She locked the door behind us and I frowned. "Ms. Garcia?"

"We do not want to be walked in on, Erin," she said lowly as she closed the distance between us. I opened my mouth to ask what she meant when her lips were on mine. It was a soft, passionate kiss, and I felt my body lean in towards hers. She reached up and unclipped my hair, burying her fingers in it, pulling me closer.

I moaned lowly as she released my lips, kissing down my neck to suck at the pulse point. My hands fluttered around her shoulders, not certain of what I should do. She guided me over to the couch and I sat heavily, my breathing already unsteady. Her nimble fingers made short work of the buttons on my jacket and blouse, and I shrugged out of them, letting them fall around my waist.

A quiet voice in the back of my mind told me I shouldn't be doing this, not here, not with her, but I buried that small sound of common sense. Nothing made sense in a world where there was someone so evil as to want to kill a child simply because his father refused to be a coward.

"Penelope," I said lowly as she kissed down my neck to skirt around the edge of my bra, effectively silencing the voice. I pushed her sweater off her shoulders and tugged at the zipper of her dress, pulling it down. She shrugged out of the dress and let it pool around her hips as she eased me onto my back, still kissing the tops of my breasts. "Please."

Penelope's lips stilled and she looked up at me, her eyes clouded with passion. "Please?" I nodded and she smiled gently, reaching behind me to unhook my bra. After she'd pulled it from my body, she cupped my breasts, thumbing my already hard nipples. I whimpered as my hips moved restlessly beneath her and she kissed me once more, swallowing the soft sounds of pleasure I was making. I unclasped her bra and tugged it off before running my hands along her silky skin.

Is this what my husband feels, I thought as I tenderly touched her breasts, running my thumbs over her nipples. She released my mouth and looked at me once more. There was a great and terrible beauty about her passion, and I closed my eyes, surrendering my body to her. "Oh, Erin," I heard her whisper sweetly as her nimble fingers unzipped my skirt, then pulled it and my panties down my legs, baring me to her gaze.

I blushed as I imagined the sight she saw. An older body, soft and sagging in places that had once been firm, the stretch marks of three children making silvery scars along my abdomen. I was completely vulnerable to her, a position I'd not been in with anyone in such a long time, and I began to cry.

My eyes were still closed, not wanting to see her amusement at my sorrow. But then I felt her fingers benevolently wipe the tears from my cheeks. I dared enough to open my eyes and saw she was crying as well. I reached up and repeated the kind gesture and she nuzzled her face into my hand. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I pulled her down on me, craving the feel of flesh on flesh. We both sighed as one and I kissed her as my hands pushed the dress off her, suddenly needing her to be as vulnerable to me as I was to her.

Our hands touched as we both went to tug down her panties at the same time. She kissed my lips once more as she wriggled out of the last article of clothing separating us. Uncertainly, I ran my hands down her body, laying one on the mound between her legs. She was so incredibly warm and wet and as I ran my fingers along her slit, she shuddered against me, burying her face in my neck. I smiled as I realized it was my touch that had caused that reaction in her and repeated the touch.

Penelope moaned against my neck, sucking and licking at the pulse point. I arched up into her as her wonderfully agile fingers slid between my folds to find my clitoris. "Oh god, Penelope!" I cried out as I felt my body tighten around her fingers, the orgasm washing over me in waves. Once more I wrapped my arms around her, not wanting to let go of this sweet moment, and she slid an arm underneath me, cradling me gently to her.

Though I tried to fight it, I could feel my eyes grow heavy from exhaustion and I blinked rapidly to try and stay awake. "Sleep, Erin. You're safe here with me. The Oracle always protects her supplicants," she tenderly said as she kissed my forehead. I felt my eyes tear up, and she kissed those away as well. Finally, I succumbed to sleep, my arms tight around her, not willing to let this moment go so easily.

I woke up alone, covered by a soft knitted blanket. Looking to my right, I saw her watching me, still naked, still vulnerable, still inhumanly gorgeous. My heart lurched in my chest for some unfathomable reason, and I bit my lip, breaking eye contact. Then I saw our clothes, neatly folded and on her desk, waiting for us.

"Do you want your armor on once more, Erin?"

I thought for a moment and then sat up, letting the blanket fall. I didn't have words for what I wanted to say, wanted to ask, so I opened my arms. She stood and made her way over to me, benevolence and compassion radiating off her in waves. It was too much, my heart felt like it was going to break, and as she sat, I turned to her.

Leaning forward, I kissed her. Without hesitation, she returned the kiss and I pulled her down with me as I reclined on the couch. I was eager to lose myself in the feel of her hands and lips once more. She obliged me, running her hands up and down my body as she kissed down my neck to first nip at the hollow of my throat before moving lower. I gasped sharply when she kissed my nipples in turn before drawing one into her too warm, too wet, _too hungry_ mouth. I was suddenly afraid of this exquisite pleasure she was drawing forth from my body and I writhed beneath her mouth and hands, wanting to get away and yet draw so much closer to her.

It was too much, too much, and as she ran her fingers along my center, I screamed sharply into her shoulder, desperate to muffle my cry of passion. "Le petit morte, indeed," I sobbed as she did not let up, ramping my body up to another shattering orgasm. She ran her fingers through my sweat dampened hair, kissing my face sweetly.

All notion of time seemed to stop as she kissed a path of fire down my body. My legs fell apart limply as she tugged them up over her shoulders and then bent forward, kissing my core. "Penelope!" I keened as I felt her tongue dance around my clitoris, doing things to me I'd never experienced before. "Oh, god," I panted as her fingers joined her tongue, driving me on closer and closer to the sky. All I was able to focus on were her fingers and tongue, no longer able to feel the rest of my body.

Abruptly, she stifled my scream with her fingers, and I could taste myself on her, and unthinkingly, I sucked on them. This elicited a whimper from her and I felt emboldened. Sitting up, I straddled her body and kissed her, pushing her back on the couch. It was like she had unleashed an animal in me and I fervently kissed down her body to suckle on one of her nipples. She buried her hands in my hair and held me there as I rooted hungrily at her breast. My fingers slipped between her folds, seeking to give the same pleasure I had just received.

I felt her orgasm build around my hand, her muscles tightening, drawing me in. "Erin!" she cried out suddenly, tugging sharply on my hair. I released her nipple and kissed back up to her mouth, claiming her lips once more. I collapsed on top of her, pulling the blanket over us as I felt sleep steal upon me once more.

The next time I woke, she was dressed and putting the finishing touches on her makeup. "What time is it?"

Penelope looked at me, a sad smile on her lips. "About five. Rossi's here already, even though there's not a case to attend to. There goes your chance at discretion."

She was closed off to me, the tenderness of yesterday gone with the light of day. Strangely hurt, I drew my walls back up around me as I tried to salvage my pride. I drew myself up straight, wrapping the blanket around my body to hide myself away. "You should have woken me earlier, then. Now, hand me my clothes."

She blanched and nodded, standing up and bringing my outfit to me. I stood and dropped the blanket, pride making my spine ram-rod straight. She blushed, but did not look away from me. I stepped into my panties first, then slipped my bra on. As the layers hid my body from sight, I felt myself close off, my feelings under control once more.

Her eyes were so sad as she handed me her makeup kit. I was relieved when she stepped behind me, only to feel cracks appear in my façade as she brushed my hair. It was here the tenderness of yesterday shone through as she carefully untangled the snarls from my hair. With deft movements, she clipped it up, pulling it away from my face. She stepped back in front of me and took the makeup from my unresisting hands and then proceeded to paint my face, saving my lips for last.

"There, now you're ready to do battle once more."

"Thank you, Ms. Garcia."

"No problem, Chief Strauss." She opened her door and I stepped out, right into David Rossi. He smirked at me, at us, knowingly and I fought the urge to slap the lecherous grin off his face.

"Good morning, Erin, Kitten. Oh, Erin, your husband called. He was worried that you didn't come home last night. You should let him know you were otherwise occupied. I never expected you to accept Kitten's easy love."

I heard Penelope draw in a sharp breath and rose to defend her. "It's a hard world we live in, David. Sometimes we have to learn to be easy, and to accept the visions the Oracle sends." I narrowed my eyes. "But you wouldn't know that, having used up three wives and scores of other women. You will leave Ms. Garcia alone from now on and tell no one about your exploits, or I will make life difficult for you in every possible way. Do I make myself clear?"

"As crystal, Erin."

"Wonderful. Ms. Garcia, if you'll come with me, please." I strode off, not bothering to see if she was following me, knowing she was at my heels.

"You didn't have to defend me, Ma'am," she said quietly as I unlocked my office door. I opened it, gesturing for her to enter. She brushed past me and into my office and I followed her in, closing the door behind me.

"Yes, I did, Penelope," I replied, using her given name so that she'd look at me. I wasn't disappointed in her. "I'm not known for my tenderness, I know you call me a bitch when I leave the room. And I'm fine with that, or at least I was, until Foyet and this damned inquiry." I sat behind my desk, reclining in my chair.

Penelope sat across from me, something akin to understanding showing on her face. "Then the Dragon Lady has a soul. Are those your children?" she asked, pointing to the family portrait behind my head.

"Yes." I handed her the photograph and watched as she stroked my smiling face lovingly. Unbidden, truth began to pour forth from my throat. "I never spoke to Rossi before I came to see you last night. I was drawn by something else, something I cannot explain. I'm sorry for lying to you."

She looked up at me and I watched the tension drain from her body. "You sought me out?" she asked, a sweet smile spreading across her face. I nodded hesitantly, a small smile forming on my lips. "Your hidden heart is so beautiful, Erin."

She stood up and walked over to my side, kneeling next to me. Unexpectedly, she wrapped her arms around me, embracing me. I leaned into the touch, resting my head on top of hers.

"I only wish it was half as beautiful as yours," I whispered, the truth still escaping from me. Penelope kissed my cheek softly and then stood.

"You are always welcome in my office anytime you need comforting, Erin. How is it that you can see the beauty in what I give, while Rossi can only sully it?"

"Perhaps because I know how hard it is to find some modicum of loving in this world." I stood up next to her, and then kissed her forehead. "Now, attend to your work, and if he bothers you in any way, let me know. I promise, I will take care of him."

"Thank you, my orchid." I looked at her and smiled genuinely. "Though I know only you and I shall hear that." She kissed me once more and then left me alone with my thoughts. But for once, my mind was still, the thoughts of the day not yet intruding on the peace of mind she had given me.


	2. Denoument

I'd known she'd be angry the moment she heard about her colleague. I couldn't blame her; I just hoped she would hear me out when she inevitably came to see me. A day passed, and I began to wonder if she would come. I needn't have worried, though, for the next afternoon, she came to me.

"What the frak, Erin? Why would you let them steal JJ from us? We need her, I need her." Penelope stormed in, slamming and locking the door as she entered.

I looked up at her over my glasses. "Please sit down, Ms. Garcia," I said quietly, signing off on the file I had been reviewing. Sighing, I pulled off my glasses and folded them, setting them on top of the files. I waited until she took a seat in front of me before I spoke. "It was a necessary evil."

"Bullshit, Erin. You just wanted to tear our team apart. You let them take her from us." She burst into tears and I stood, going over to the window to look out over the road. I heard her move and turned to see her approach me, her tears rolling down her cheeks. "She's gone."

She raised her fists and I braced myself, drawing my body up to its full height. Half-heartedly, she beat on my chest, biting her lip. She spent her anger quickly, and then fell against me, her tears wetting my shoulder as she wrapped her arms around my waist. "It was supposed to be you."

Penelope stepped back from me, her eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said. The DOD wanted you. Your precious Alpha team cannot exist without you as their emotional center. You are the sun they revolve around, Ms. Garcia, and you know that. You'll get by without JJ, I promise you."

"So, it was your call, then. You sought me out once more. But why?" She spread her hands out on her chest, resting one over my heart, which was beating out a rapid tattoo. "It's not that Alpha needs me, or not only that."

"But I want to leave it at that," I whispered, covering her hands with mine, intending to pull them away, until she pressed tighter to me. "Please, may we leave it at that?" I was starting to feel vulnerable with her and looked away.

"No, Erin, I must have the real truth."

I turned away from her and pressed my hand against the window, struggling to control my breathing. I couldn't let her see the truth in my eyes, knowing if I looked at her, the answers would spill forth. Penelope's arms tightened around my waist, holding me close to her as she rested her head on my shoulder. Desperately, I grabbed onto the first half-truth I could think of. "You can't leave the BAU, Penelope. I just reminded the DOD of that small fact."

"Oh, Erin, why is the truth so hard for you to say?" she whispered as she slipped her hands beneath my blouse. As her hands crept up to cup my breasts, I leaned back against her, my head falling back onto her shoulder. "Why is it that I have to make you completely vulnerable before I hear what's really going on?"

Penelope turned her head and kissed my neck. I sighed as she absently thumbed my nipples to stiff peaks that were irritated by the lace of my bra. Reaching out, I closed the blinds on my window before turning into her. "I'm sorry, I can't give you what you want," I whispered.

"Oh, my orchid, it's not what I want, but what you need." She leaned forward and kissed me sweetly.

I pulled back and stared at her. "You should hate me for what I've done. What happened to your anger?"

"I'll leave my anger to Morgan. It's never gotten me anywhere. Besides, you aren't deserving of hatred, no one is, except the very worst of unsubs." She stroked my face gently, and then kissed me once more. Hesitantly, I returned the kiss, letting her guide me over to my couch.

We sat down, not breaking the kiss, and she untied my blouse, letting it fall open. As she once more cupped my breasts, I moaned into her mouth and she used that moment to thrust her tongue into my mouth, dueling with my own. Again, it was too much and I nipped indelicately at it. She pulled back and grinned wickedly at me. "I knew there was a tiger in you somewhere," she whispered breathlessly, lowering her head once more to kiss and such on the pulse point of my neck.

As I buried my hands in her hair, I vaguely heard my door rattle. Pushing, throwing, prudence to the wind, I urged Penelope on, my baser instincts taking over. "Yes," I whimpered as she ran her tongue along the edge of my bra, her hand fumbling with the clasp. Then her mouth was enveloping one of my nipples, her teeth grazing the stiff peak softly.

Through desire-induced haze, I realized someone else was in the room with us. Turning my head, I looked into the wide eyes of my husband. "Corin…"

"You whore! Dave told me I might find this scene, but I didn't believe him. And yet, here you are, fucking another woman. You make me sick, don't bother coming home tonight."

I sat up quickly, pushing Penelope away as I struggled to put myself back together. "Corin, wait! Listen!"

"No, Erin. You have nothing to say," he hissed at me. "I knew you were a bitch, but this? This is too much, even for you." He turned on his heel and stormed out the door, slamming it behind him.

Bursting into tears, I curled up into the side of the couch, not wanting her to see me like this. I felt her hand on my shoulder and flinched from the gentle touch, desperately trying to erect my walls. Once more, she touched me, and I whispered, "Please, don't. Just leave me alone, I'll be fine here on my own."

"Oh, Erin, I'm sorry I hurt you."

I looked at her through tear-clouded eyes. "I brought this on myself." She got up to leave, and I felt my cracked heart shatter. Stopping at the door, she turned the lock and then rejoined me on the couch, opening her arms. I fell against her, burying my head in the sweet comfort of her breasts. She unclipped my hair and tenderly ran her fingers through it. My sobs continued unabated and still she stroked my hair, murmuring honeyed blandishments in my ear.

She kissed my forehead and I lifted my face to look into her eyes. Amidst the tears there was a spark of possessiveness that startled me. "No one hurts my supplicants, my orchid. No one."

"How many people have you offered sanctuary?" I asked, laying my head back down.

"Everyone in Alpha, save Gideon. He couldn't accept this gift as freely as I offered it. I know now I should never have let Rossi in. That was a mistake."

"Everyone makes a mistake some time," I whispered, bringing my hand up to rest on her chest.

"Yes, but this one hurt you as well as me. I never meant for that to happen." She covered my hand with hers and I looked up at her, As her tears started to fall, I lifted my lips and she kissed me. It was a warm kiss, so full of yearning that I felt my heart stir. Though it made no sense, I wanted to comfort her. "Will you come home with me tonight?" she asked after she'd released my lips.

"Yes." I felt her nod and she helped me to stand. Reaching behind me, she fastened my bra and then adjusted my breasts before tying the blouse. I smiled as she fixed my hair, putting it back up in the usual twist. While I wiped off the traces of mascara from my face, she put her hair to rights and fixed her own makeup. When that was finished, I picked up my purse, ready to follow her anywhere.

"I'll need to stop by my office to grab my bag. Would you mind coming with me? I don't want to face Rossi by myself, if he's still here."

I nodded and we left the room, putting up a united front. The walk down the hallway didn't take long at all, and soon I was standing outside her office, waiting for her. Looking up, I saw Rossi staring out of his office window, that damn smirk on his face. I narrowed my eyes and straightened my shoulders, not about to let him see the hurt in my soul.

Penelope stepped out moments later and we walked down to the elevators. I made certain to keep a respectable distance between us, not wanting anything questionable to end up on tape and in the archives for Rossi to find and use against me, against us. As soon as we were in the parking garage, though, she grabbed my hand, leading me over to her car.

"Do you have a go bag or something?" she asked quietly.

I looked at my hands. "No. What you see is what you get."

"Then thank God it's Friday. We'll get something together for you tomorrow," she said as she backed out of the parking spot. As she drove, I let the music drown out any words I might have wanted to vocalize, forcing myself to be silent and think of what I was doing, of what I was potentially giving up. "But what are we going to find?"

I turned my head to see her face, noticing that maddeningly enigmatic smile. "I don't know."

"That's the best place to start from, my orchid. With no expectations, we can make of this whatever we wish." She pulled into a spot in front of an apartment building and turned the car off, turning to face me. "Though I do have hopes."

I snorted a little and got out of the vehicle. "There are no hopes when it comes to someone like me," I whispered to the wind before joining her on the walkway that led to her building.

"Hope springs eternal," she breathed in my ear as she fumbled with the lock. I raised an eyebrow, but she just smiled and took my hand once more, guiding me up the stairs to her third floor apartment. "What would you like for supper? I don't have much in my cupboards, but we could order something delivered."

"I'm not really hungry," I said as I sat on her sofa. Like her office, her home matched her personality.

"All right, what do you want?" she asked as she sat next to me.

"I wish I knew." She pulled me tightly against her, rubbing my back as I began to cry once more. "Oh, God, if I thought I knew, I wouldn't have gotten you caught up in this mess."

"Messes are what I specialize in, Erin. You should know that." She leaned forward and kissed me, offering me the solace of her passion, her home. "And this time, we have a bed to be in, my orchid." I nodded and she smiled, bringing up a hand to cup my face. I covered her hand with my own and kissed her once more.

We stood, never breaking the kiss, and she backed me into her bed. My knees buckled as soon as they hit the obstruction and I stared up at her, the first stirrings of desire filling my body. Penelope giggled slightly, her hands making short work of her clothes. I followed suit, letting my clothing fall to the floor.

As she straddled me, I reached up and cupped her breasts, thumbing her nipples. She arched into the touch and I felt emboldened, lightly pinching the stiff peaks between my fingers, copying what I found pleasurable when done to me. "Erin, don't stop doing that. It feels amazing," she gasped out, a deep flush spreading over her body.

I nodded and continued to manipulate her breasts as I felt her hands run down my body, almost mapping out every curve and line I had. "I thought the supplicant worshipped the oracle," I said lowly as she ran her fingers slowly over my hips. She smiled at me and bent to kiss my lips, stilling my voice.

"When the oracle finds one worthy of worshipping, then things change. Let me take the lead now." I nodded, giving control to her. It felt so good to let go to her, to not worry about the coming dawn. She kissed me softly on the lips as she brought up her hands to frame my face. I closed my eyes as she let her fingers flutter across my cheeks, only to trace their way over my nose and chin. Her lips followed the path of her fingers, kissing the bridge of my nose, tracing the curve of my eyebrows.

Delicately, she tugged on the lobe of my ear and I arched my neck to give her better access. Running her lips down the column of my neck, she stopped to kiss along my collarbone, and I shivered in pleasure. Everything about her actions was tender, gentle, and I felt my eyes tear up again.

"Don't cry, my orchid, tonight is about making you feel better."

"I'm not certain I want this tonight."

"What do you want then?" she asked sweetly, echoing her earlier words.

I thought for a moment and she caressed my face, running her thumb over my cheekbone. "This," I whispered. "I want to just feel you next to me, holding me, forcing me to believe that everything will be fine in the light of day." I reached up and caressed her face, smiling slightly as she nuzzled her face into my touch. "May I just bask in the light of the Oracle?"

"Of course you may, Erin." She laid down next to me, pulling my body flush to hers. It was then I realized that we were the same height as, from our foreheads down to our toes, our bodies were perfectly matched. She kissed me sweetly and I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her all the closer to me, resting my chin on her shoulder.

"Penelope?"

"Yes, Erin?"

"What if I can't go home?"

"Do you want to go home? What's keeping you there?" she asked lowly.

"My children. Oh God, what will he tell my children?" I felt myself tense up and she began to stroke my hair once more, running her fingers through it and untangling the snarls. I melted into her, relaxing under the touch.

"We'll worry about that come morning. You can't do anything while he's still so angry. And you have to put your walls up so he can't hurt you as he's already done." She turned her head and kissed my cheek. "And when you need to, you come back to me. The Oracle will keep you safe. I promise."


	3. Aftermath

I touched my hair nervously as I stepped out of the elevator Monday morning. Penelope had put it up in a new style before we'd left and I was certain everyone could tell I'd spent the weekend with her, recuperating my wounded heart. Straightening my shoulders, I went to my office. As I unlocked my door, a young man in a dark suit approached me.

"Erin Strauss?" I nodded. "Here, these are yours." He shoved a large manila envelope into her arms.

I knew what was in the envelope without him telling me I'd been served. "Let me guess, you're from Charlie's law firm, aren't you?" He nodded, blushing. "It's all right, I knew this day was coming, I have for years. I was just hoping to retain Chas myself. Have a good day." I tried to smile, but knew it looked more like a grimace.

"You too, Mrs. Strauss." His expression was strained and sad as well and he patted my shoulder before he left. I went into my office and sat heavily in the chair, slipping my thumb beneath the flap to open the envelope. After I'd pulled everything out, I quickly read through the documents, seeing what demands Corin was making.

"Oh, god," I whispered as I read his demands. The one that hurt the most was his desire to seek full physical custody of our children, citing my long work hours. He'd attached a sticky note saying it was this or he revealed my affair to my supervisors. "You've left me no choice, have you, Corin?" I said bitterly as I tore the sticky note off the page and signed my name with a flourish.

Sighing, I buried my face in my hands, struggling not to cry or mess up the hairdo Penelope had so lovingly created. Finally, I gained control of my breathing and began to look through my inbox. Unfortunately, there was nothing pressing to take my mind off my situation.

I called up my office email and saw there was a note from Penelope. I read it and couldn't help but smile a little. She seemed to have that effect on everyone, though. My heart was fast becoming tender to her, especially after the weekend we had shared, and that scared me. After the disaster of my marriage (and wasn't it so easy to pretend to be happy for the space of a photograph?), I was reticent to begin something new, to open myself up to the pain once more. Then I noticed her signature line. It was a quite from C.S. Lewis – 'To love is to be vulnerable.'

That perfectly described her. She was vulnerable to everyone, taking every slight personally and working to correct the least of mistakes. I'd seen it in the Fisher King case, and Agent Hotchner had written so many times in his annual reviews of the woman. Her heart is bigger than her brain, if that can be fathomed, was his most recent musing on her. And from the little I'd experienced, I had to agree with him.

A heavy knocking on my door startled me from my thoughts and I sat up, shutting down the email client. "Come in," I said, my voice sounding oddly choked.

Nicole, Director Shepperd's assistant walked through the door. "Chief Strauss, Director Shepperd would like to see you in his office immediately." She looked so serious, so stoic, that I knew I was going to receive bad news. I stood up and smoothed my skirt.

A flicker of disgust blinked across her face as I approached her, and I felt the bottom fall out of my stomach as I knew with sudden clarity what the Director would be talking to me about. I drew myself up to my full height, not about to seem weak in front of this snip of a girl.

I swept out of my office, my steps deliberately measured, a frown on my face. As I passed by the bullpen, my eye caught Penelope's. She looked as devastated as I felt, and I nodded imperceptibly to her. She burst into tears and took a step towards me, only to be stopped by Agent Morgan, who looked concernedly at her. I walked on, about to break myself, and pressed the up button on the elevator.

Once the doors slid closed, my phone vibrated and I answered. "Rossi got a hold of the video footage from your office. I'm so sorry, Erin. I think, I know, he took it to Shepperd already, since I've been told I have to stay here for the next six months. He called it my probationary period." Penelope's voice sounded so sad, and I felt my heart stir once more in my breast, wanting, aching to comfort her.

"I'm on my way to see him right now," I said quietly. "I'm sorry, I have to go." I hung up on her, slipping the phone back in my pocket as I stepped out of the elevator. Once more, every eye was on me, and now I knew why. Thrusting my chin up and out, I looked down my nose at the ones who stared too long at me.

Using the same deliberate gait, I went into Shepperd's office. He was seated at his desk, looking over some papers, so I stood before him, waiting for him. "Sit down, Erin."

His tone startled me, but I was careful to mask the jumping of my heart as I sat. "You wished to see me?"

"Yes. Some rather disturbing footage of you and a subordinate has surfaced. I have already dealt with her, now I have to finish taking care of the problem. Since she was your subordinate, the full onus of responsibility is on your shoulders. Therefore, I have no choice in this. You're fired." The words cut to the bone and I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from crying. "You'll still have access to your pension, of course. We cannot deny you that. However, you need to have your office cleaned out in two hours' time. Nicole will assist you in any way she can. I believe she brought some boxes down for you to use."

"There's not much to pack up," I said woodenly, my mind racing. I stood and stared down at him. He didn't even bother to look up at me, and I turned on my heel, leaving the room. No marriage, not job, what more could I find out on this horrible day, I thought as I rode the elevator down. I pulled out my cell phone and saw Penelope had texted me while I'd been with Shepperd. A few tears squeezed out of my eyes as I read her assertion that I was still her orchid.

I stepped out of the elevator and went to my office, meeting no one's eye. It was as though they knew, however, from the whispers I heard behind my back as I entered my office. Nicole had already packed most of the books on my, the, shelves so I began to pack up my desk, taking the pictures of my children and setting them in an empty box. Then the diplomas came down from the wall, and finally my precious bonsai tree was set on top of everything else.

Without saying a word to each other, we took the boxes out to my car, putting most of them in the trunk. When the final two boxes were tucked away, she turned to me. "I'll need your credentials, Mrs. Strauss."

Her words hurt more than I could let on, so I just nodded, unclipping the badge from my blouse and handing it over. Wordlessly I got in my car and drove aimlessly for an hour, trying to find some balance in my wildly swinging emotions. Finally, I decided to go home, knowing no one would be there at this time.

When I saw my suitcases on the front porch, I knew that I had nothing left in my life. Giving in to the tears, I put the bags in my car and left the divorce papers attached to the door. I stumbled back to my car and sobbed until my head hurt. Taking a shuddery breath, I started the car and pulled away from the only home I had known since I was twenty-three.

Again, I drove and drove, not stopping until I realized I had somehow pulled up in front of her apartment building. I put the car in park and saw her sitting by the fountain, her fingers running through the water. As if she knew I was staring at her, she looked up and smiled sadly at me. She came over to the driver's side door and opened it, wrapping her arms around me. "I was hoping you'd come here when I found out what they'd done to you."

"I had nowhere else to go, Penelope. But why are you home so early?" I unbuckled my belt and turned to her, burying my face in her hair. She rubbed my back and let me cry for a minute before helping me out of the car.

"Hotch let me come home. I made up an excuse about feeling ill and really, I did when Rossi told us so gleefully that they had fired you. Out of all of them, Hotch understands the best." She looked in the back seat of my car. "Why do you have everything with you still?"

"Because Corin's kicked me out. I signed the divorce papers minutes before being called into Shepperd's office."

"Oh, my sweet orchid," she murmured in my ear as she drew me close to her. "Let's get your suitcases upstairs."

I stepped back from her, my brow furrowed. "Just like that?"

"Just like that. I would never rescind my offer of sanctuary." She kissed my cheek softly and then opened my back car door. "Now, after we get everything upstairs, do you want to go out to eat? I don't imagine you've taken the time to do that yet today."

Reaching in the car, I grabbed out the largest bag. "That might be nice. Is there a good Chinese place nearby?"

"Right around the corner, actually." She grabbed out two bags and shut the door and then led me upstairs. "Just put the suitcases in our bedroom, and I'll run down and grab your bonsai. If you want to hang up some clothes in the closet, just push my things together to make room."

As we climbed the stairs, I found myself lost in thought. How easily she had called the bedroom ours, as if she were certain of something between us that I couldn't see at the moment. She opened her door and I stepped inside. She set the bags she was holding down on the bed and touched my shoulder as she left. "Penelope," I sighed under my breath as I set the big bag next to the others. I unzipped the bag and gasped in horror. My clothes were nothing but shreds.

Frantically, I pawed through the tatters, hoping beyond hope there was something undamaged. I wiped away furious tears with my thumb as I kept coming up empty. Then my hand touched silk and I knew it was my favorite dress. Hesitantly, I pulled it out, dreading what I would find.

I held it up against my body and began to sob as I saw this was the long garment Corin had not touched in that bag. Lovingly, I caressed the smooth fabric. "Is that all that remains?" Penelope asked as she wrapped her arms around my waist.

"In this bag, yes," I replied as I leaned back into her touch. She kissed my cheek and stepped away from me.

"I'll check the other bags. You don't need this stress on top of everything else." She closed the large bag and set it on the floor, pulling the others closer to us. As I watched, she pulled out intact garments and my knees buckled. I sank to the floor, still holding my dress to me. "This bag looks whole, my orchid. Must be his rage was spent by the time he got to these."

The other bag contained my undergarments, again blessedly whole. She swept the bags off the bed and sat down, holding out her arms. I fell into them and she carefully pulled out the pins holding my hair up. I sighed in pleasure as she ran her fingers through my locks and my tears fell onto her shoulder. When my sobs finally ceased, she gently wiped my face clear of the traces of sorrow.

"Do you feel up to eating now? I could have that restaurant deliver rather than us going out."

"That would be nice," I said as I flopped onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "Chicken fried rice and two egg rolls." I closed my eyes and fought not to smile when she kissed me gently.

"Anything for you." I sighed and rolled onto my side, watching her order. "It'll be here in twenty minutes," she said as she rejoined me on the bed, pulling me close. We stayed like that until the food arrived and as she paid, I took out two glasses and filled them with water, setting them on the table.

"As soon as I have my bearings about me, I'll start looking for my own place." She smiled cryptically at me, as if she already could see the future. "What does the Oracle see?"

"It's not entirely clear yet. But I believe our future looks rosy." There it was again, that easy assertion of an us, of a future together. I broke eye contact with her and focused on eating. I found I couldn't eat much, since the portions were huge, and most of my appetite had fled earlier. We put the leftovers in the fridge and I heavily made my way over to the bed once more, sitting down on the edge.

Penelope knelt in front of me and began undoing the buttons on my blouse. I tugged it from my skirt and together we slipped it off my body. I unhooked my bra while she slipped off my skirt. Then she took off her dress and bra, joining me in the bed. I curled into the softness of her and she wrapped her arms around me, cupping my breasts. "Who else did Rossi tell about our extra-curricular activities?" I asked quietly.

"Everyone in the bullpen."

"Even the new girl?"

"Uh huh. She was the only one surprised by the revelation. I suppose surprised isn't really the right word, more like shocked. Derek was just glad I didn't get let go as well. I think the way Rossi went about it actually gained you some supporters." She kissed my cheek and I turned in her arms, capturing her lips with my own. I heard her purr slightly and deepened the kiss, burying my hands in her hair.

Her hands slid down my body to cup my ass, pulling me incredibly close to her. She slipped her fingers underneath the fabric of my panties, finding me already wet, eager, for her touch. I parted my legs slightly and she took the invitation, seeking out my clit, rubbing it with maddeningly soft touches. I felt my hips move as she drove me on to the pinnacle of pleasure. Never releasing my lips, she swallowed my moan of pleasure as I came.

Untangling my fingers, I tripped my way down her body, thumbing her nipples until she squirmed against me, biting my lip as she tried to moan. I thrust my tongue into her mouth, dueling with hers as my own fingers slipped beneath her panties, finding her core. She orgamsed much more quickly than I did, and she tore her mouth away from mine. "Oh, Erin, you're fire and I don't ever want this to go out," she panted before kissing her way down my body. Without hesitation, I gave myself over to her, ready to be blessed by the Oracle.


	4. Rebuilding

In the morning, I was woken up by kisses. "Get up, my orchid. We have a visitor." Penelope threw a soft terrycloth robe to me and I sat up, wrapping it around my body.

"Shouldn't we put clothes on?" I asked, blushing slightly as I stood and saw the robe only came down to mid-thigh. "I feel so exposed."

"And you look so hot right now, my love. But if you want to wear something, put on that silk dress and then join us in the living room. He'll be up in just a minute." She patted my ass as I walked by her to reach into the closet and grab out the dress. "Top drawer of the dresser," she called over her shoulder before I could even get the question out, and I opened it, pulling out a bra and panties.

I disappeared into the bathroom, and as I dressed, I heard voices in the other room. The lower-pitched voice sounded familiar, but I couldn't quite put my finger on who it was. Looking in the mirror, I saw my hair was an absolute mess, so I ran Penelope's brush through it a few times to give it some semblance of neatness. Squaring my shoulders, I turned and left the room.  
"Hello, Erin." I blanched a little to see Agent Hotchner sitting on our, the, sofa.

"Agent Hotchner," I replied, sitting in the chair closest to Penelope. "What brings you here?"

"I was just checking in on Garcia before I head out on our next case. I don't like how things went down this weekend, I really don't. The shelter that Penelope so freely gives has been defiled by Rossi's actions, and I truly wish things had gone differently." He stood, and Penelope followed suit, escorting him to the door.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched him bend in to kiss her, only for her to put her hand up against his chest, stopping him. "The Oracle has found her supplicant," was her low reply, and he nodded, smiling at me. I turned my head, not wanting to be so easily discovered.

I heard the door close and then felt her arms around my shoulders. Looking up, her face was right above mine, and she lowered her lips to capture mine in a soft kiss. "Your supplicant?" I asked against her lips. She nodded and I heard her robe fall to the floor. Coming around the chair, she stood before me in all her beauty. Needing room to breathe, to think, I grasped at the only straw left me. "What about Mr. Lynch?"

"Kevin? I thought he'd be my supplicant," she said as she moved into our, the, bedroom and began to dress. "He's proved less dear than the supplicant currently occupying my presence. He, too, never understood the solace I give, or I should say, gave. I do believe those days may be over."

Penelope came back into the living room and sat at my feet. Unconsciously, I reached out and ran my fingers through her hair, smoothing it. She purred in pleasure, arching into the touches, and I deftly braided her hair into a set of pigtails. "Where do I go from here, Penny?" I sighed, letting my hands settle on her shoulders.

"A step at a time, we move into the future. Hand in hand, we'll get there together." She bent her head back to look into my eyes. "It only takes a moment for the heart to change, to soften, the love. I don't know what this will be, Erin, but I do feel I want to go forward with you. Let's rebuild your life, together."

"I can't be as free as you are. It's not in my nature. I prefer to be in charge, to have boundaries. All of this is so far beyond my ken right now."

"That's where I come in. I think I'm ready for those boundaries, and I can show you how to relax a few of them. Do you trust me?"

I thought for a moment, running my thumbs along her shoulders. My heart screamed yes, but my mind was more reluctant to answer positively. "Screw it. Yes, I do trust you. None of what's happened to me is your fault. I want to be here, if you'll have me. I want to stay under the protection of the Oracle."

She turned and rested on her knees, her hands on my thighs, a smile on her lips. "Perfect. That's the first step, my orchid. Now, the day is beautiful and I do not want to be cooped up inside. Shall we go for a walk?" I nodded and she stood, holding out her hand. I took it and we went outside. The thin silk of my dress did little to protect me against the cool breeze and I shivered, drawing closer to Penelope.

"I didn't realize it was this cool out," I said as she clasped my hand.

"Do you want to head back?"

"No, not yet." I squeezed her hand and smiled. She turned her head and kissed my cheek softly. "Is there a café nearby? I'm starving."

"There's this nice bistro about a quarter mile down the road." I nodded and we walked on in silence. Even our quietness was different from that I'd experienced before. Towards the end, Corin and I never spoke except to yell, and used our speechlessness to hurt the other. This, though, was tender, as if we didn't need words to be of one mind.

In that moment, I faced a great truth about me, about us. In a very short time she had made my heart so at ease and I did not want to let go of this sweet love that was developing between us. I felt like a crocus, poking my way out of the snow, searching for the light of the sun, finally awake after a long winter spent dormant. I stopped suddenly and looked at her. "I'm not your orchid."

"What?" she asked, looking hurt. I reached out and stroked her face gently, a small smile forming on my lips as I knew what I had to tell her, to reveal to her.

"I'm the crocus to your sun. My heart's dormancy is ending at last and I'm being reawakened to love."

She smiled so beautifully at me and I felt my eyes well up. "You are lovely, my crocus." She wiped away the tears that were pooling in the corner of my eyes and then kissed my cheek softly. "Now, before you freeze in the wind, let's get you to that bistro." She threaded her arm through mine and led me onwards.

We'd hardly gone any length of sidewalk when I heard her name being called. "Penelope! Wait up!" Stopping, we turned, and I saw Kevin running down towards us. Instinctively, I stepped in front of Penelope and watched him frown. "You weren't in the office today, sweetheart." He leaned forward to kiss her and she moved away, further hiding behind me.

"Hi, Kevin. I wasn't feeling well yesterday and Hotch gave me today off, too," she said softly from the safety of my presence. Her arm was wrapped tightly around my waist and her fingers bit into the flesh of my side. "What are you doing here?"

"Do I need a reason to see my girlfriend? But here I find you with the Dragon Lady, like Rossi said you'd be. Did you really offer her your sanctuary after I told you not to do that any longer?"

I did not like the look in his eyes and felt myself draw even closer to Penelope. He noticed the move and narrowed his eyes. "And I told you, Kevin, that I'll offer sanctuary to all who seek it. You can't tell me what I can or can't do, because you don't own me! You know what, that's it, I can't handle this any longer. We're through."

"Just like that? I don't think so. You're mine, you love me!" His voice took on a more pathetic, wheedling tone, and I winced at the desperation I heard there. "Tell me you love me."

"I thought I did, Kev, I really did. But you never understood me. At a moment like this, you'd think you'd get it – if you really loved me."

"How can you say that? Of course I love you." His face crumpled and I felt some sympathy for him.

"I'm sorry Kevin, but I can't do this any longer, I really can't. The game of make-believe is over and we have to move on. Find someone who's content to be yours, someone who doesn't chafe at slights like 'you're too stressed' and not getting they're my family."

"Family doesn't fuck each other, Penelope." The anger and disgust were back in his voice and he looked me up and down. "And I suppose you're fucking her now, too. Do you hate yourself that much?"

Penelope gasped. "You son of a bitch," she said lowly.

"Mr. Lynch, that is enough. Don't say something you'll regret later." I felt his hostile gaze on me and shrank back. Suddenly, he didn't seem like such a teddy bear any more.

"Kevin, if you touch her, I will hurt you," Penelope said, switching places with me, protecting me. "She's my supplicant, by her own bidding, and no one hurts my supplicants. I've told you that before."

"I see how it is. Well, when your silly infatuation with her ebbs, don't come crawling back to me." He turned on his heel and stalked off into the afternoon sun.

Penelope's shoulders slumped and I moved to be close to her. "Penny?" I said, touching her shoulder lightly.

She looked at me, her eyes wet with unshed tears. "I don't hate myself, Erin, and I don't hate you."

"I know that, Sunshine." The endearment slipped off my tongue so easily and I touched my lips in wonderment. She tilted her head and smiled as she wiped away her tears.

"That's a new one. I rather like it." She clasped my hand lightly and we continued walking. The bistro was a welcome sight and we slipped inside. Penelope led me to the back and we sat at a semi-secluded table. "I hope you like it here. It's one of my favorite places to go when I need to think." I nodded and looked over the menu, quickly deciding on what I wanted.

The waitress came by and we put our orders in. "So, what do you need to think about?"

"Right now, nothing. I'm content for the first time in awhile. I have good friends who've comforted me recently, and I found something infinitely precious in a most unexpected place." She reached out and covered my hand with hers. "The sex with her is great, but seeing her blossom into someone who is free to feel is amazing."

I blushed and looked away from her. Her vision was so much clearer than mine was, it never failed to amaze me. "This is a new world for me, Penelope, you'll have to be patient with me. "I wrapped my hand around the warmth of my mug, sipping at the tea. "Kevin seemed rather angry. You don't think he'd do something stupid? I can't remember anything from his reviews at the moment."

"I wish I could say one way or the other. He liked 'surprising' me by doing things like cutting the power in my apartment to have a romantic dinner. He never understood why that creeped me out."

"And he knew you had been terrorized by Battle, right? I mean, you don't just forget something like that, especially since you almost died as a result. Right?"

Penelope looked at me in amazement. "I would certainly hope someone wouldn't. He never did keep that in mind, even though he saw or felt the scar every time we had sex. When did Corin lose sight of you?"

"Thank you," I said to our waitress as she set our food down. "Just after Jessica was born. My body was different and he didn't like the changes. I didn't want to go under the knife, too many complications. Ever since then, it's been constant fighting about anything and everything."

"He failed to see the beauty in front of him for thirteen years? What a waste." She shook her head, looking bemused.

"I'm not beautiful." Old insecurities were bubbling up to the surface and I ducked my head so as not to see her face, tears already threatening to fall.

"Erin." My name sounded lovely on her lips, but still I refused to look up, to see the pity lurking in her eyes that she would try to mask. "Look at me, my crocus." I pretended not to hear her, focusing on my food. The next thing I knew, she was at my side, clasping, stilling, my hands. I stopped eating, my head still bent over my food. Oh so gently, she lifted my chin up and then turned my face so I had to look into her eyes. My lower lip began to quiver as I struggled to keep my composure at the sight of her lovely smile, her understanding eyes. "You are beautiful," she said slowly, deliberately. And then she kissed me.

"Penny," I whispered, letting my tears fall. She wiped them away softly, caressing my face as she did so.

"Never buy the lie of the world. They put too much stock in perfection. None of us are perfect, so none of us fit their standard of beauty. Frak them for not getting it." She kissed me once more and then pulled her food over, not leaving my side. When we'd finished, she paid and we hurried home. It had gotten colder while we'd been inside, or maybe I just wanted an excuse to cling to her.

Once in the apartment, she led me into the bedroom. I did not protest, wanting the intimacy, needing the closeness of skin on skin. "My sweet sunshine," I whispered as she slowly drew the zipper of my dress down my back. Her smile warmed my heart, beginning to crack the layers of ice that surrounded it. My hands crept up to unbutton her blouse, tugging it from her skirt and pushing it to the floor. "May I map you the way you've mapped me?"

"Certainly, my crocus." I sighed in pleasure and slowly unzipped her skirt, letting it pool at her feet. Tenderly, I ran my fingers over her face, taking her glasses off and setting them on the bedside table. Then I moved on down her body, finding every curve, every sweet dimple, every responsive spot there was on her. Kneeling, I kissed her scar, and then wrapped my arms around her, resting my head on her stomach. Suddenly, I was overwhelmed by the situation. She gently pulled me up, claiming my lips once more. It was if we had finally shared the clarity of her vision and I knew I was home.


	5. Fulfillment

_Six months later…_

I waited anxiously for Penelope to return home. This business with Emily frightened me more than I let on. Somehow, though, she seemed to know my hidden heart, and had tried to reassure me that she'd be okay, no matter what happened. The lock turned in the door and I turned to look at her. In an instant, I could tell she was devastated, and I stood, making my way over to her. "Penelope?"

She collapsed in my arms, sobbing. "She's gone, Erin."

I rubbed her back softly, helping her over to the sofa. She buried her face into my neck, her tears soaking my hair quickly. "Oh, baby, what happened?"

"They won't tell me. Hotch and JJ know something, something important, and they didn't tell me." Her sobs lessened as she spoke, yet still she clung to me. Slowly, I took down her hair, running my fingers through it, massaging her scalp gently. She began to lean into the touches, arching her neck. I bent my head and kissed her pulse point, savoring the sound of her light moan.

"How was your day?" she asked as she sat back, pulling her legs up underneath her

"Busy, which is nice. I've been able to get back in the groove, which happened much sooner than I expected. Jack's been very kind to me, helping me pick up the pieces of what I've forgotten. He's going to let me assist with a trial next week. I'll be back in the courtroom, Sunshine."

She smiled sadly at me. "That's wonderful." She paused, kissing me sweetly. "I'm sorry I'm not more enthusiastic, my love. It's just so raw." She touched her heart. "I never expected it to hurt this much to lose someone so suddenly. Time has dulled the deaths of my parents to a twinge and now this."

I nodded and stood, holding out my hand to her. She took it and joined me as I made my way over to our bed. I leant forward and kissed her as my hands made short work of our clothes, letting them fall to the floor. She buried her fingers in my hair, tugging me closer. I lost my balance and fell back onto the bed. She joined me, straddling my body. "Oh, my crocus," she whispered as she lowered herself on top of me, stretching out along my body.

"Tonight's just a cuddling night, isn't it?" I asked against her shoulder and she nodded.

"Erin?" she said after we'd lain like that for a little while.

"Yes?" I responded, running my hands along her back.

"Life is too short, and I have to say this, you have to know. I love you."

I pulled back from her slightly to look into her eyes. She'd told me so many times in the last six months that she loved me, but I'd never been able to say the words back. I tried to show her in a million little ways, but still the words stuck in my throat, unwilling to spill forth as easily. "And I love you," I finally said, tears springing to my eyes. A true, radiant smile spread over her lips as she leaned in to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around her waist and we lost ourselves in each other.

In the morning, I crept out of bed, letting her sleep. Looking through her phone, I found Aaron's number and dialed it, waiting for him to pick up. "Penelope?" he groggily asked.

"No, this is Erin. I'm sorry to call so early, but I have to be getting to work shortly. Penny's staying home today. Her heart need to heal a little from this shock." I lowered my voice. "You shouldn't keep secrets from your team."

"I wish I didn't have to, Erin. This is the only way to keep her alive until Doyle can be brought to justice. Keep her sane for us, will you? We need her here now, more than ever."

"Certainly, Aaron. I'll talk to you later." I hung up the phone and padded into the bathroom, stepping into the shower. As the warm water rained down on me, I heard the bathroom door open and close, and then she was joining me. Tenderly, she washed my hair and I returned the sweet gesture. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Lost. I just want to see her smiling face once more, to erase the final image of her I have."

"Oh, Sunshine, that can't happen."

"I know, but a girl can wish." She wrapped her arms around me, resting her cheek on my back.

"I told Aaron you wouldn't be in today. You need time to heal." I turned in her arms, shutting the water off and opening the shower curtain. Stepping out, I grabbed two towels and handed one to her. "What should I wear today?"

She clasped my hand and led me back into the bedroom. "I want to see you in the dark purple suit with the magenta silk blouse," she replied, pulling them out. Even after six months, I was still growing accustomed to the colors she had introduced into my life. As I dressed, she made us breakfast, the flannel robe wrapped around her body giving her the appearance of a choir girl lumberjack.

We ate in silence and then it was time for me to go. At the door, Penelope hugged me tightly to her, kissing me sweetly over and over as I rubbed her back. "I'll be home about six, Sunshine."

"I know, I just am having trouble letting go of you this morning. I love you, Erin." She smiled slightly at me, cupping my face with her hand.

"I love you, too," I replied, repeating the gesture. Now that I had said the words, they came so much more easily to my lips. "Try, try to have the kind of day you don't regret." She nodded and kissed me once more before opening the door for me. I stepped out into the hall and went out into the day, not certain of what to expect when I got home that evening.

I was exhausted when I got back to the apartment after work. This case was brutal, something I didn't tell my Penny, not wanting to worry her unnecessarily. I unlocked the door and stepped inside, smelling supper.

"Hi, Mom."

Turning my head, I saw my youngest sitting on our couch. "Jessi, what are you doing here?" I said as I smiled and made my way over to her.

"Dad and I had a huge fight, so I called Penelope. She picked me up after school and brought me home."

"And does your father know you're here?"

"Yes, Mom, I called him as soon as we got home." She stood and hugged me. "I really like Penelope, Mom. She didn't ask any questions, just brought me here. And she's really smart; we got my homework finished in no time at all. I want to move in here with you two. Do you think Dad will allow it?"

"I don't know, sweetie. Plus, we don't really have the room. There's only one bedroom." Penelope came out and joined us, wrapping her arm around my waist.

"There's a larger apartment opening up on the sixth floor. The Jones family? He got moved to Germany and the landlady said we could take over their lease, if we wanted it. It would be easier for the kids to visit, if we did."

I looked at my daughter, who was smiling hopefully. "But you've lived here forever."

"And now it's time to move on to the next step. That would be having a place for our family."

"Please, Mom? I miss you so much." I looked into the sweet blue eyes of my daughter and knew I would have no point in arguing with them. Sighing, I nodded. "Thank you!" She threw her arms around me, kissing my cheek.

"I'll call Miranda and let her know we're taking the apartment." Penelope kissed my other cheek and moved off, picking up her cell phone from the coffee table.

"Now, this doesn't mean you'll be living with us, Jessi. Your dad and I are going to have to work that out and get the custody order changed in court, if he even lets that happen. Tonight here, and then you go back to him, all right?" I asked, guiding her over to the sofa.

"Yes, Mom. But I'll work on him, okay? I really want this."

"I'd love it too, sweetie." We waited for Penelope to return and she smiled as she did.

"The apartment's ours for only three hundred more a month! Now, supper's waiting for us and we have a cause to celebrate." Her smile trembled a little, and I could see that she was trying to mask the hurt she felt over losing Emily. Taking her hand, I let her lead me into the kitchen.

That evening, after Penelope had made up a bed on the sofa for my daughter, we held each other and talked softly. "I can't believe you'd do this for me, Penny. Thank you."

"I love you, and by extension, I love your children. Why shouldn't we be together if we can be?" She stroked my face gently, pushing my hair out of my eyes. I leaned in and stole a quick kiss before nuzzling my face into her neck. She giggled slightly as my warm breath spread out over her skin. "Hotch called after you left today."

"And?"

"He's glad I'm happy. They're going to take next week off and help us move. Even Rossi." I stiffened slightly at the mention of his name, not registering the fact that she had had this move planned to have asked the team to help us move. Rossi and I had come to an uneasy truce over the past few months, more so for Penelope than for anything else. "He promised to be on his best behavior, and you know Morgan will kick his ass if he hurts either of us."

"I still don't know how you got them to accept me so easily."

"You're not as imposing when you're just Erin. Plus, you smile a lot. You never did at work, or at least never in a good way, if that makes sense." She slid her hands beneath my pajama pants to rest on my ass. "Now, though, you're like a completely different person. I hate to say it, but I think Corin dragged you down and it came out at work." She sighed, and I pulled back a little from her to rest my forehead against hers.

"What is it, Penelope?"

"If I ever do that to you, please let me know. I never want you to feel stifled, or unloved, or worse."

"Somehow, I don't think we'll need to worry about that." I kissed her once more before snuggling as close to her as I could. "I'm going to sleep now, though. It was a rough day and I want to forget it in your arms." I closed my eyes and tried to relax in her embrace. Before I drifted off, I felt her lips on my cheek.

"I'm sorry. I never asked about your case. I only hope you forgive me for being so self-centered," were the last words I heard that evening.

In the morning, by the time I got up, Penelope was already making breakfast. Jessi was wearing one of my skirts and a shirt of Penelope's and was talking to her as she puttered around. I pulled out an outfit from the closet and went into the bathroom to get ready.

I slipped on a pair of heels and walked out to the kitchen, where my lover and daughter were. I took a seat next to Jessi and looked at the plate before me. "Penelope?"

"Okay, so I got a little carried away when I was cooking. Having a guest is exciting." She sat across from us and smiled.

We ate quickly and then Penelope cleaned everything up while I did my hair and makeup. I was handed my briefcase and together we all left the apartment. Penelope and I held hands as we walked down to our cars.

"I'm going to ride with Penelope, Mom. She's closer to school than you are. I hope I get good news soon." She hugged me tightly and then kissed my cheek. "Love you, Mom. Have a great day at work!" She got in Esther and Penelope and I looked at each other. There was an awkward hesitancy about us this morning, and I opened my arms.

Penelope fell into them, holding me tightly. "I'm sorry. I'm so selfish."

"I thought that's what you said last night. No, you're not, my sweet Sunshine. You're giving up your home to make a new one for us. That's not selfish. And if I need to talk about my day, I will, I promise. Emily was like a sister to you, so of course you're going to grieve. I want you to, sweetheart. Don't bottle that up, you'll become like I was." I stroked her cheek softly, looking into her eyes. "Tonight, we'll crack open that bottle of Pinot Grigio and I want to hear all your favorite memories of her, okay?"

She nodded against my shoulder and took a shuddery breath. "I love you so much, Erin."

"I love you, too." Heedless of who saw us, I kissed her. From the car, I could hear Jessi clapping and whistling and I broke the kiss, blushing.

"The Oracle's priestess isn't supposed to blush," Penelope gently teased.

"Well, the priestess's daughter shouldn't be giving her approval of our kiss," I countered, kissing her again. "Until tonight, my love." She smiled and nodded, going over to her car and getting in. I watched them drive away before leaving myself. The entire drive, all I could think of was how much fulfillment she had brought my life in a scant half year. Had I ever been this truly joyful before? Though I had put on a good front, Corin had never really understood me or how to bring me happiness like she did.

In her, there was nothing that suggested she would turn out like Corin did. We shaped each other, smoothing our rough edges together, rather than forcing one person to change. I never thought fulfillment could be so beautiful, surrender so lovely, as when I was in her arms. The Oracle had chosen her priestess and we were bound together forever. I smiled, anxious for the life in front of us. And what a good life that would be.


End file.
